If you feel isolated from some of your relationships or confronted by a new level of togetherness in your home life, I hope you will find these affirmations and tips to be relevant to your relationships and the struggles you may be facing due to the current global concerns. Please email me (laura@creativegrowthandhealing.com) with any of your relationship questions or concerns. I will attempt to give helpful suggestions based on my professional experience and knowledge.

Surprise 

I deepen my connections through fun surprises.

Our relationships are not on pause, even if we are physically separated. Those I care about remain a priority to me, and I determine to continue creating happy memories and experiences for us both.

While some avenues for experiencing connection may be closed, to create fun and bonding, I maximize the opportunities that remain open.

If I feel trapped or limited, I consider that a positive choice still remains available to me. I seek out the positive choice. Limitation is an opportunity to expand my repertoire of ideas and experiences. Is there an avenue I’ve yet to explore?

I utilize this time to demonstrate the resilience of my relationships. Using the element of fun and surprise, I lighten the mood. Through humor, creativity, gifts, unexpected activities, random proposals, and technological innovation, I dispel the anxiety my loved one and I may be feeling.

Tip: Based on your personal status, your romantic life may look very different since the Coronavirus came to our land. Whatever your situation is, my advice to you is to be willing to try something new. Below are some possible ideas you might explore to develop, maintain, and deepen your relationships. Be sure to brainstorm your own as well.

Physically Separated from a Partner:

Single people in an established monogamous relationship or even married people may now find themselves physically separated from their partners. This likely feels painful due to the loss of physical affection, which is especially affirming of connection. It is important to find new or maybe old ways to strengthen your bond. Consider the following ideas:

• Pursuing or investigating a common interest to facilitate in-depth conversations. Even if you may not be able to engage in the activity itself, research is still open to you.
• Try what may be considered an old-fashioned activity like reading to each other. You might read poetry, a novel, a short story, or news articles. Reading, unlike the constant disjointed feed of social media, focuses each of you in a common direction and allows you to explore something new together in depth. 
• Gain and practice new communication skills. You might do the Getting the Love You Want Workbook by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. to complete together over the phone.
• Do something unexpected and give them a fun surprise. For example, serenade your partner outside their house or drive by with a love message sign on your car.

Dating or Pursuing New Relationships:

Single people who are not in an established relationship and who were dating before the Coronavirus find themselves limited in pursuing new connections in the way they had been accustomed. Do continue to date online! The technology is in place. Now you have the opportunity to safely take advantage of it without meeting someone in person before you feel confident of your interest in him or her. Think of the stay-at-home order as an advantageous boundary and opportunity to more consciously evaluate your dating prospect. Consider the following ideas:

• Be curious about the other person and inquire about things that allow you to get to know their values. Here are some examples:
  • Tell me about what makes you laugh.
  • Tell me what you want to pursue in life.
  • Of all the jobs you had, which one did you like most, and why?
  • What is the hardest thing you have ever done?
• Plan to go to a virtual meet-up together. Meeting with a group virtually will provide you an opportunity to see their interactions with others while at the same time sharing an experience together that you can discuss later.
• Surprise them with a personal expression using one of the fabulous apps now available. Share your creative talent with them, for example, and bring a little romantic energy into dating.
• Consider your choice to meet in person carefully. Dating in public feels a lot different than dating in your home. You may instead want to use the stay-at-home order as an opportunity to find out how patient or interested you are with one another. Take this time to get to know each other’s values, philosophies, and aspirations.

Committed Couples Living Together:

Committed couples living together may be physically in the same space but feel restricted from the excursions and activities that previously invigorated their relationship.

• Invite the other to a date in a specific area of your property or home. “Would you like to go on a date with me on the deck at 4 PM for hors d’oeuvres?”
• Maximize greeting each other at the beginning of the day. “Good morning, my love!”
• Create a tradition of relaxed time to be together every day.
• Write down questions to ask when you next talk to learn something new about your partner. Take your time to listen to the answer fully. Here are some examples:
  • Tell me about your favorite toy as a child.
  • Tell me about your most treasured possession and what it means to you.
  • When do you feel most alive?
  • What is the thing you would most like to accomplish in life?
• Surprise them with something unexpected (a love letter, gift, funny drawing). Draw upon those private jokes or experiences the two of you have shared to invoke fond memories.

Whatever situation you may be in, consider that avenues of connection remain available. Maximize them, and have fun! 

©2020 Laura Aube

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Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapy provides you and your partner a safe place to learn how to engage in healthy communication. Utilizing Imago Therapy with your partner can deepen your relationship and your love and acceptance of one another. In a private couples or family Imago Therapy session, you receive expert guidance and practice using tools like curiosity, listening, receptivity, and understanding.

I would be honored to help you on your journey of living from your true self and creating relaxed, joyful relationships. To learn more or schedule a session, call (816) 359-1885 or email laura@creativegrowthandhealing.com. 

Laura Aube, LPC, ATR-BC, Certified Imago Therapist
creativegrowthandhealing.com
Email: laura@creativegrowthandhealing.com
Phone:  (816) 359-1885
Address:  207 South Washington Street, Raymore, MO 64083

Laura Aube is a licensed Counselor in the State of Missouri. She has advanced training as a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, as well as a fully-credentialed Art Therapist. Laura has twenty-five years of experience as a therapist and specialized expertise in grief, trauma, couples, and family therapy.