WHAT ADULTS CAN DO TO HELP A CHILD WHO IS BEING BULLIED
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1. Provide emotional support. Children who are physically threatened, intimidated, or hurt; the target of gossip; teased or humiliated; excluded from a peer group; or receiving hurtful messages electronically often feel overwhelmed. They need adults to validate their feelings and their experience. It is important to realize that human relationships are complicated and while we would like to offer simple solutions to our children, the reality is it is not possible to change another person’s behavior. Suggestions like “just ignore it” or “stand up for yourself” may not work, or convey to the child that they are at fault.
2. Identify ways the adults in the child’s life can provide protection. This may include things like problem-solving with the child’s school, monitoring the child’s electronic communications, or providing additional supervision. It is important for the child to know they will be taken seriously when they come to you with reports of problems.
3. Help the child develop compassion toward themselves and others. Encourage the child to consider the other child’s motivation for behaving hurtfully. For example, some children who bully are facing personal problems, have been exposed to violence or bullying behavior themselves, feel insecure, are seeking to fit in with others, or lack the ability to handle frustration. Considering the other person’s situation will help the child recognize they are not the cause of the bullying behavior and discourage them from internalizing messages that something is wrong with them. It is important the child understand that being different in any way is not a justification for being treated unkindly.
4. Support the child in developing an expressive outlet they enjoy. Being the target of bullying painfully undermines a child’s sense of self. Creating art, journaling, writing poetry, playing music, dancing, and acting are all ways your child can discover, develop, and express who they are.
5. Facilitate the child maintaining, and developing supportive friendships. This may mean initiating new social outlets for your child, or involving them in extra-curricular activities or classes where others share a similar interest. Having peers that they can rely to care about them is the number one most important thing to build resilience to difficult peer interactions.
For more information contact:
Laura Aube, MS, ATR-BC, LPC
816-359-1885